And The Story Goes ... Episode XIII

“Where is he? He should be here by now. Maybe something happened; how come he’s still not here? What’s with all of this waiting?” Jennifer interrogates, escalating her tone with each question.

Advancing towards Jennifer consolingly, Karen pats her shoulder and assures, “Calm down love, David is on his way. I’m sure nothing has happened. We haven’t been waiting long. Remember, he and Brad were at the gym; they probably had to shower. He’ll be here soon dear, okay?”

  I wanna say okay but it’s not okay, what’s taking so long? I wasn’t even sure I wanted to tell David but now that Karen’s convinced me to tell him, he’s taking forever to get here. “This waiting is killing me girl. I wish he already knew then I wouldn’t have to tell him. I don’t want to tell him Karen, maybe I should just take him with me to my next appointment with the doctor.” Jennifer offers.

“Taking David to your next appointment is a great idea; that way he can ask questions which will help him help you. What are you so afraid of?”  Karen cross-examines while occupying the closest chair.

“Everything and nothing—something and a little bit. I can’t explain it; I know it sounds crazy to you but I don’t feel it will go well.”

“Why wouldn’t it? He’s probably gonna be crushed when he finds out your diagnosis; and hurt that he wasn’t the first to know. Frankly, I’m shocked that you’ve told me before him.” Seeing Jennifer’s face sadden, prompts Karen’s reassurance, “No judgment dear, I said I was surprised not that I thought it was wrong. It’s your body and you have to do what is okay with you; I ‘m here for you all the way sweetie.”

“Thank you; that means so much right now. I just wish he would come already.”

“He’s coming; he’s coming, now let’s talk about something that won’t have you watching the door. How would you like to have a little girl just like you?” Karen puts forth.

“A little girl would be nice, just not like me”, Jennifer decides.

“Why; were you a hellion growing up?”

Jennifer smirks, “Not really, but I do remember how I used to think and that was a problem; my luck, my daughter would be inquisitive and rebellious—I’ll pass.”

“Revolution is natural, we all go through that.” Karen reasons.

“Talk about looking on the bright side, I say rebellion and you say revolution, you’d of been perfect as a parent for me and my friends growing up.” Jennifer remarks then looks down to the floor.

“What is it Jen?” Karen examines not expecting an answer and moving out of her chair to kneel alongside. “I guess I’m fired from the cheer up committee,” she chides hoping to elicit a glimpse of positive emotion.

Taking Karen’s hand and bringing it to her face, Jennifer sighs, “Why can’t it be this easy with him?”

“Because we’re women dear heart; we share a bond. We connect and understand in ways different from our male counterparts. Not that they’re less, because they aren’t; I think it’s the same with them too.” Karen assures trying to ignore the voices in her mind.

“If that’s the case, maybe that’s why that drunk woman said David was hooked up with a man back when he was in college.” Jennifer surmises.

“That makes more sense to me. Like I said before, I can’t see David with a guy. He’s a man’s man.” Karen confirms unaware she is suggestively gazing into Jennifer’s eyes.

“Wow Karen, you have the cutest eyes. No cute isn’t the right word. They are so bright and look like the work of an artist. I bet you always hear about them.” Jennifer compliments while surges fire through Karen’s body. On autopilot, devoid of guilt, decorum and protocol, Karen thanks Jennifer for the accolade moving to stand behind Jennifer positioning herself to give a massage.

“You seem tense Jen.” Karen assesses softly working both shoulders.

“I am; you know I am.” Jen agrees unfastening the first few buttons of her blue polo shirt allowing Karen to touch her skin. Zoning on a higher net, Karen breathes deeply taking in the aroma. She’s reminded of the many scents carried by Victoria’s Secret then wonders, does Jen go to VS? I bet she would look good in just her underwear. I wish she’d take her shirt off; of course she’s only trying to make it easier for me to massage her shoulders—nothing more. Ah her skin is so supple; she must pamper herself regularly to keep it this soothing. I just want to turn her around right now, grab her head and have her suck me off. It wouldn’t take long at all; I bet she’s been with a woman at least once. Maybe I should ask her; oh yeah Karen that’ll go over real well. It wouldn’t have to mean anything; she’s not even my type. I just haven’t had a woman in forever and I’m creaming. I want; dammit I need; this is agony Karen professes to herself. Trying to dim the intoxication of lust, she almost cries out but confers within, “Lord help me, this is your child Karen. Where are you when I need you? If you don’t want me to do this, give me a sign.”

Severing Karen’s internal war, Jen chimes, “Yeah! Guess who’s finally here? That’s the garage door opening. Oh my goodness, thank you, thank you, David is finally home. Isn’t that wonderful? It’s about time isn’t it girl? You are the best K! You told me he’d be here soon.”

Panties sticky and senses peaking at maximum, a world wind of sane arrives; material, rational and irrational all convene—wanting to scream, pout, cry yet thankful for Jennifer’s fog, Karen imparts, “Isn’t that what friends are for? Thank you for trusting me enough to share something so personal. I’m going to scoot so that you and David can talk. Remember to tell him everything the doctor told you and be sure to call me if you need anything. “

“I will sweetie.” Jennifer assures kissing Karen on the cheek. “Oh and by the way, your hands are simply magical. You relaxed me and I didn’t think that was possible; especially with everything that was going on. You had me melting like butter. You’re gonna have to teach that to David.”

“Anytime love.” Karen calls exiting the front door before David finishes parking in the garage. I’ve got to get outta here. I guess that was God’s sign that I asked for—David getting home. Like the church always says, prayer changes things, Karen reasons hurrying to her Honda Accord.

*******

          “You’re staying over there tonight right?” Rob initiates hoping to disquiet Bishop’s easiness.

          “Nah man, I’m leaving in the next thirty.” Bishop informs.

          “Yeah okay, she’s not gonna like that.”

          “She’ll be cool with it. It’s not like that between us; we don’t want each other like that. Speak what you know man.”

          “Did you sleep with her?” Rob nosily asks.

          “Where you want to meet up at?” Bishop injects, changing the subject.

          “I’m telling ya, if you slept with her, then it’s like that between y’all; you know how women are about that type of thing.” Rob obsesses.

          “Brah please drop it. She and I know and that’s what matters. One sec man, lemme call you back after I leave outta here.” Bishop responds hearing Andi approaching.

          “Uh huh, that’s how it starts.” Rob instigates.

          “How would you know? Yeah, that’s what I thought; I’ll hit you shortly.”  Bishop quips then turns around to see Andi’s smiling at him.

          “You hungry? I can put something together for you to take with you in a bag.” Andi mentions.

          “What made you think I was leaving? I didn’t say anything” Bishop guiltily renders, fearing Andi may have heard what he and Rob were discussing.

          “Oh it’s not that; it’s just that my friend Devin will be coming over soon and it may be a bit awkward if she sees you here. You know I wouldn’t care otherwise.”

          Trying to prevent an all out guffaw, Bishop chuckles about Rob’s concern that Andi would have a problem with him leaving. “Not a problem; it should take me about ten minutes and then I’ll be on my way.”

          “Thanks Bishop, I have to finish getting ready. Would you please let yourself out hon and we’ll talk tomorrow right?” Andi leisurely poses

          “Right,” Bishop affirms figuring Devin is the next woman Andi is going to drive insane. Andi is a sure enough pill, but that head she gives makes it all worth it.  

*******

Stay tuned and find out what happens next …

And The Story Goes ... Episode XII

It seems the softness in Gabriel’s voice was the catalyst to Sophia’s purging about her meeting with Kennedy. Sensible initially, her replay quickly escalated to outrageous. Unimpressed, Gabriel interjected, “Sure she seemed a bit braggadocios but why are you so angry? Is something else motivating your rage?”

What! That was a dumb question; hadn’t she just heard what I said. I must be in some alternate universe. What is wrong with her? We’re never on opposing sides. How come she couldn’t see it? Sophia considers remembering some of the accusations launched by Gabriel. Since when are Gabby and I so vehemently opposed? I thought she’d have my back on this. Well—maybe not, it was Gabby who didn’t even want me to meet Kennedy. She felt I needed more training on counseling a homosexual. I say, experience is the best teacher. I want to help people that are looking to break free from the bondage of being gay. To wait for more education would just be an excuse to not move to action. Why would I do that when so many people want help? Even with clarifying my position, Gabby still didn’t get it. Why was she being so stubborn?  “I just wanted to help,” Sophia testifies expelling a long sigh remembering the exchange between them that ended the palavering.

“I admire the passion with which you want to free the mind of a troubled soul but I didn’t think Kennedy wanted any help. I thought she was content in her decision to be gay. Did she want help Sophia?”

“Everyone wants help Gabriel.”

“Now see? That’s what I mean; instead of answering and explaining to help me understand, you’re defending yourself. Why is that?” Gabriel condescends.

“I’m not defending myself, why are you acting like this?” Sophia exclaims.

“I guess I’m missing it sweetie. You’ve been ranting and I still don’t know what the poor woman did that was so wrong. It sounds like she didn’t have any idea why the two of you were meeting and yet she took it like a champ. Yeah she debated with you, but even you said she was nice about it. Forgive me for not getting it; to me you sound like you’re obsessing and I would really like to know why,” Gabriel summates.

“Wow, I don’t know what to say; I’m speechless,” Sophia manages as the lump rises in her throat.

“All evidence to the contrary.”

The silence was not golden as neither woman spoke for a few seconds. Conceding her last statement bordered on nasty and clearly was unnecessary, Gabriel offers, “I can see that you don’t like what happened with Kennedy and since it seems like I’m not helping, I should probably let you go. How about we talk a little later; okay sweetie?”

Not feeling okay and trying to douse the hurt burning within her chest, Sophia agrees to the mutual retreat and the call expires. Kennedy’s the heathen but I get accused of obsessing. Why do I get so upset anytime I think about her? Gabby’s right, she was kind and seemed to accept that we both did not agree. I can’t believe she was so well read in the scriptures; what was that about? If I didn’t know I’d feel so embarrassed, I’d ask her more about some of the points she made. She was fairly intelligent and her confidence made it even more overbearing. Maybe that’s why she seemed so attractive. I can see why women cower to her but just as they’d think she’s not in my best interest, she would act humble and then they would give in to her. That’s gotta be a real head trip.

Now more subdued, venom securely sutured, Sophia rests her head on the back of the large comfy chair. Her heart slows as relaxation commands her eyes shut. Firmly closed, a movie begins on her lids; she and Kennedy are in the room and Kennedy has to have her. Caught in the impulse, Sophia slides her satiny hands down her ashy light brown thighs into her pastel striped Hanes. Lubrication saturates the swelling middle as Sophia massages between her lips. Rotating her hips forward, she widens her legs to allow her hands to move faster. Giving in more, wanting to climb higher, Sophia slightly lifts her legs, providing the gateway to more than a clitoral orgasm. Fondling her opening with haste brings heavier breathing as the film continues. Kennedy kisses Sophia’s calves and hamstrings while she lie there on her stomach moistening the sheets with each touch from Kennedy’s lips. Impatient and wanting more, Sophia elevates to all fours. Kennedy pauses and admires the buffet awaiting her then uses her fingers to pull Sophia’s lips apart, and suckles. First softly licking then accelerating to meet the speed at which Sophia was pushing back to receive her tongue exploration, Kennedy holds Sophia’s thighs for balance to keep from falling back. Inhibition’s absent as Sophia looks back and motions for Kennedy to lie down. Before she could offer any further instructions, Kennedy pulls Sophia atop her, sitting her just under her breasts. Looking up into her eyes, Kennedy declares, “I wanted to make sure I was in the position to follow your instructions to the letter. Now tell me General, what am I to do?” Feeling secure and free, Sophia climbs onto Kennedy’s face, and straddles right over her mouth. Using the headboard to support her weight via her left hand, Sophia uses her right hand to open her swollen lips, advertising her clit then glides it across Kennedy’s orifice. Carnality forces Sophia to stuff Kennedy’s mouth with more goodness; every plunge hastening to a convulsive climax. Thighs shaking, Sophia considers cessation to avoid an early arrival. Out of compliance with that plan, Kennedy pulls her forward delving deeper and faster with her tongue, hoping the onset of the explosion was less than seconds away. The cinematography seeming live, Sophia cries out to Kennedy, “Right there, Yes! Please don’t stop. Oh yeah, yeah, mm hmm, mm hmm, sssss, oh! Yes! Oh! Ah!” Not disappointing, Kennedy engulfs her juices and accepts the shock of every thrust to her estuary, granting Sophia complete release and ending the screen play. Limp with REMs fast approaching, Sophia’s fatiguing mind floods with questions, the most apparent one being, what the heck was that? She tries to search for an answer, but sleep arrives first.

*******

Stay tuned and find out what happens next, Monday, July 12^th 2010. Have a beautiful day and stay hydrated! 

And The Story Goes ... Episode XI

Please enjoy the music while your party is being reached …
♪ I’m so excited and I just can’t hide it, I’m about to lose control and I think I like it. ♪
            She’s probably at rehearsal or in the middle of practicing knowing Toni, Shaun thinks as the Pointer Sisters song diminuendos and the voice mail message begins. Ending the call, Shaun chortles remembering Andi’s words. Screw me? Huh, screw you b that mess was over before it started. Shoot, Andi was too everything; too much, too little, too mouthy, too extra, just to damn too. Hopefully she meant it when she hung up on me; God help, she won’t call back.

*******

“You don’t ever have time for me anymore. What’s got you so busy?” Andi mocks as though Karen couldn’t possibly have anything else to do but answer her solicits for attention.

“Life girl; I can’t really talk right now.”

Can she get over herself? She’s not the only one with a life ya know. She’s so selfish; it’s always I gotta this and I gotta that. Why do I even bother? “You’re not the only one with a life. There’s a lot going on with me right now.”

“I know sweetie and I’m sorry but this isn’t a good time. I’ll call you a little later okay?” Karen gently suggests. I hope she isn’t about to snap off. Lord knows it’s just like Andi to trip out because I have to take care of something other than what she deems is important. The last thing I need is to hear her nonsense while I’m trying to sit here and help Jen. She’s trying to deal with cancer and lies about her husband. I still can’t believe someone told her David is a homo; that’s not even possible. Women can be so catty, probably some tramp that wants to screw David. There is no effing way David is into dudes. Well she did say it was back when he was in school. People do get wild when they leave home, I should know. Yeah, I’m sure he got wild; he was an athlete and frat boy after all. I bet he had women all over, I know Brad did and they were best friends. Come to think of it, I wonder what Brad would say about David and men; he would fall out laughing I’m sure. Hmmm I wonder; I just might have to tell him the rumors on ol’ Dave.

“Hello, hello Karen, are you there? I don’t believe this. Hello Karen, if you can hear me, I can’t hear you. Are you there?” Did she hang up? Andi muses just as Karen unpremeditatedly reacts, “I’m here Andi, but I don’t have a good signal. I’ll catch up with you tonight. Talk to you then girl.”

“Talk to me then? Talk to me when?” Andi quizzes not immediately discerning that Karen is no longer on the other end.  What a crock; she’s always too busy for little old me. With friends like her, you don’t need enemies. I should call Devin, she always has time for me.

*******

          “What was that you were saying? Care to repeat your accusations? I think you were lecturing me on the pitfalls of jealousy when Karen called me and then you decided to act it out. Admit it David, I’m not the only one who gets jealous and we both know why.” Brad states raising his left eyebrow suggestively.

          Ignoring the obvious overtones, David snaps defensively, “I don’t think inquiring about the reason Karen would need to contact you yet again, when she’s knows we’re playing racquetball constitutes invidiousness. Face it Brad; this is about you not wanting to be the only one green with envy.”

          Here comes the human thesaurus; why can’t he just say jealousy. Isn’t that what normal people say? Not him, he has to say invidiousness. That’s my David; man I love him. “When I think of green, I think of Go, not envy; and knowing what I know you should too babe. Now drop the attitude and stop wasting time; you’re gonna have your hands full soon enough. Or maybe you should drop something else, how ‘bout that?”

          “Do you ever get enough?” David scoffs.

          “No and neither do you. C’mon let’s go to the showers. I got something for you to suck on. I think I see a green light and it’s getting brighter; here take a look.” Brad demands pointing to his member.

          Wanting to resist but feeling his own “green light” David follows behind Brad, who turns leaving the court, eagerly anticipating what was about to become. He knows how to get me going. Damn I’m so weak for him.

          Nodding his head then glancing back to the accompanying David, Brad looks around to ensure there are no observers. Still walking, he reaches into David shorts, reacquaints with his favorite and whispers “I wanna taste and be tasted.” Feeling a tinge of guilt, he rethinks his decision to not tell David what Karen said. I should’ve told him Jen wants him home but our time keeps getting cut. I will after we shower; we deserve some time together. Ever since that damn accident things have gotten even more strained. He’ll understand, it’s not like she’s dying, she can wait this once; I always do.

*******

 Ah man, I missed Shaun’s call. I hope she wants to hang out tonight. I knew I should’ve left earlier. I would’ve if Lyric had of stop talking; how many times are you gonna want to reread the doggone lines at rehearsal. She needs to do that crap at home – she’s carrying on like a headliner. You’re an understudy for goodness sakes. Let me hurry up and call her back, we’ve been having so much fun lately Toni appraises selecting Shaun’s mobile number, unaware of Lyric approaching on her left.

“You didn’t ride your bike tonight? I usually see your helmet riding into the sunset when I come out,” Lyric teases.

“Not tonight, it’s too humid. I’d be a sweaty mess.” Toni explains.

“It has been quite hot lately. It feels like July.”

“It is July Lyric. You might need to get yourself some rest girl; we’ve been going at it hard.” Toni declares trying to move the conversation along so she can return Shaun’s call.

“That’s fer sure; you headed home?” Lyric quizzes noticing a look of surprise on Toni’s face.

What the heck? Why is she asking that? She want a ride or something? “Well I’m not sure. I was hoping to catch up with a friend of mine.”

“Is it the girl who comes and waits for you at rehearsal sometimes? I don’t mean to be nosy,” Lyric justifies.

But you are being nosy. “What girl?” Toni asks not wanting to say yes.

“The one whose car you sit in sometimes. Y’all seem like good friends.”

What is she doing; watching me with binocs when I leave? Toni leaves with girl, full story at 11. “Oh yeah, we’re good friends.” Toni assures

Hmmm she didn’t answer my question. I know she heard it. Maybe she’s just guarded. I should just come out with it. What’s the worst that can happen huh? “I asked because I want to go out with you and didn’t wanna disrespect anything you all may have. Are you available to grab a bite? Lyric invites.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t really hear you. The music from that truck over there drowned you out. What did you say?” Toni asks trying to compile an acceptable response to Lyric’s invitation.

Skeptical but accepting the plausibility, Lyric repeats, “Do you wanna grab something to eat? I asked about your friend because I’m very interested in getting to know more about you outside of work.” I bet she’s gonna end up asking about Scott.

“Going out would be good; tonight wouldn’t be the best night though. If I’d known, I would’ve brought a change of clothes; how about later this week?”

“Sure; what’s your number so I can text you mine?” Lyric explains.

“Cool; I have a quick question Lyric and I’m not trying to judge. Your business is your business. There’s a guy that’s with you almost all of the time, is he your brother?”

Laughing, Lyric clarifies, Scott is not my brother although he’s around like one. We tried to go out back in high school and have been friends ever since. Don’t get me wrong, I do date guys just not that guy.”

“So you’re bisexual?” Toni submits

“Yes mam; card-carrying and proud”, Lyric announces confidently. “I bet you’re not used to hearing that response.”

“No I’m not; I’m pretty sure that was the first,” Toni confirms looking forward to what Lyric was about to say next.

“I think the definition of bisexual has become mucked up. It has become a symbol for greed and lies and distrust and that is a falsehood if I do say so myself. Please allow me to explain premise; not everyone who likes both wants both at the same time or wants to lie to one to have the other. I myself prefer not to mix sticks and slits; how about you dear heart?”

Bellowing to the point of almost choking Toni chides, “Now that is a colorful definition if I ever heard one. Bravo Lyric, bravo! Although Toni’s enjoying Lyric’s antics, she hopes for an ending in the near future. “Girl you are too funny. We definitely gotta hang out.”

She said hang, I’m not trying to hang, I want to date. Let me not push it, we can work out the details later. “Yes, let’s; see ya later.”

“Cool”, Toni responds, rolling up her window. I sure hope Shaun isn’t busy. I have been chatting with this chick when I could’ve been calling Shaun back – Damn, what if she’s unavailable?

*******

Stay tuned and find out what happens next, Monday, July 5^th 2010. Have a grand 4^th of July weekend; it’s our nation’s birthday! 

And The Story Goes ... Episode X

Experiencing another mental tirade over what happened at Kennedy’s a few weeks ago, Sophia envisages, why oh why do I keep thinking about her? What a crock! Talk about thinking you know everything—Gabby was right. I shouldn’t have gone there by myself. Then again nothing happened really—it was such a waste of time. You’d of thought she called the meeting the way she dominated the conversation. What was Karen thinking when she recommended I speak to Kennedy? Okay, okay, technically she didn’t, but she could’ve warned me when I asked about her. I was trying to help her but she believes she’s right. How can someone so well versed on the scriptures actually believe being gay is acceptable to God? Her arrogance was beyond belief; who doesn’t know that Sodom and Gomorrah was wiped out due to homosexual sins?

I’m sure only Kennedy believes there wasn’t any mention of God’s feelings towards that when He spoke about the sins of Sodom and Gomorrah.
She tried to intellectualize everything; you’d think she was a concordance. I’ve never heard anyone say that God was speaking about rape when referring to the sins of that town and the fact that she cited Genesis 19 from which she garnered that revelation was profane. I can’t stand when someone knows a little bit of information and uses it to mislead. I’m trying to save souls, not have an academic debate with a self proclaimed theologian. I refuse to be dissuaded from helping people come to the Lord just because it’s not popular.

I’ve tried to help so many people, even my cousin Karen and yet I’m alone. I’m the one that’s by myself because I choose chastity, and purity, and virtue. Well, not alone because I always have Jesus in my heart but what about having someone in human form for this earthly realm? This is nothing but warfare; the devil is always trying to battle with me and he used Kennedy. She was spewing all types of unsupported facts about God’s view on homosexuality. I guess as sinners we’ll find anything to justify our sins. I wonder if Gabriel has ever had anyone use the excuses Kennedy gave me. The nerve of her to challenge the Word of God; it is only by grace that He saved any of us. How any of us can challenge His power and goodness is unconscionable. If that wasn’t enough—when I began to raise my voice, God forgive me, she ignored my fervor and with gall said, “I have nothing but respect for your passion in your beliefs. Passion is a beautiful thing and I’m sure you will look beyond our differences. Thank you for stopping by and sharing your concern for my future Sophia. Is there anything else you’d like to talk about tonight?” What else was there to say at that point? Clearly her heart was hard against any truth. I’m glad I left right then. Yeah she played nice and tried to walk me to my car but I wasn’t having that or anything else Miss Kennedy was giving! I can only help people that want to be helped … who is that ringing my phone? Probably a telemarketer, I don’t recognize the ring tone.

“Sophia Delp,” she answers.

“Hey Lady Sophie,” Gabriel replies.

“Gabby?”

“Yup it’s me; I’m calling from my mother-in-laws house. My cell is charging right now.”

“How is mama?” Sophia offers sincerely.

“She’s good; I wanna know how you are. We haven’t had a chance to talk in more than a week and I didn’t see you at the last meeting.”

Before responding, Sophia exhales then begins outlining her meeting with Kennedy.

*******

Awaiting the abatement of Karen’s call, Jennifer calms down after whispering cynical sentiments about telling Karen that Brad was supposedly David’s college lover. At least that’s the story the gossiper spun during Homecoming weekend at Berkeley. Remembering how highly she thought of Karen, Jennifer decides not to share those specifics. Why share something like that when there are no facts? It’s bad enough that I had to hear that; I’m not gonna do that to Karen. I have much more pressing issues to talk to her about.

Rejoining the room, Karen scares Jennifer, disrupting her thoughts. Almost blurting, Jennifer announces Dr. Tomell’s findings.

“I have cervical cancer Karen.”

“Oh honey, I’m so sorry; are they sure? Is there any chance of error? How can I help?”

“Yes, they’re sure; my pap came back abnormal so they did another pap and when that came back the same, they did a biopsy.”

“I can’t even imagine what you must be going through. Did you know before the accident? Is this what you don’t want to share with David?”

“I do want to tell David, it’s just that I don’t want him to think ill of me. I had the biopsy before the accident and I was going to tell him when I came to the gym that day, but my mind started playing tricks on me. Next thing I knew, I was in the ER.”

“Why would he think something bad of you? You are the victim here; you didn’t ask for cancer.”

“True; but there’s something he doesn’t know. Before David and I started dating, I had genital warts. I had them removed, and they’ve never come back. The problem is I never told him about it.”

“But that was before you and he even knew each other. C’mon Jen, David would stand by you and support you in this.”

“Let me put it another way; how would you feel if Brad had herpes and never told you about it. Would you care if it happened before you?”

“There’s no comparison—you’re comparing apples and oranges.”

“No—both are incurable.”

“I’m not gonna debate this with you, the point is, you have cancer and I believe your husband would want to know and will stand by you. If it’ll help, I’ll come with you to tell David or I can tell Brad and he’ll tell for sure. You know how close they are.”

All too well if I believe … never mind. “That’s nice of you to offer Karen, but no. You’re right, I need to tell him and I’m going to tonight.”

“Good girl; now would you like me to call Brad back and tell him you’d like David to come home now?”

“I’m injured not helpless.”

“I know but since they’re together I figure I can kill two birds with one stone; call Brad to meet me and tell him to have David come home.”

“Where are they?”

“Playing racquetball; probably putting names to the balls as they hit them,” Karen suggests snickering a bit but quickly changing her expression to somber reminded of the conversation being about cancer. “Just sit tight hon, I’m going to call Brad right now.”

*******

          “I don’t see why you’re not more concerned about why Jen was at the gym.”

          “Gosh you sound paranoid Brad. Why do you keep bringing this up?” David asks wiping the sweat from his hairline.

          “Because it doesn’t make sense; her explanation for being at your gym is flimsy. I hope you’re not being naïve again,” Brad declares.

          “I’m naïve because I believe my wife is still unaware of our relationship. If that’s what it is now; is it still a relationship Brad or are you just pricked by my marriage?” David sarcastically propositions.

          “How convenient; are we talking about me or you?”

          “Explain that; you’re not married, I am, and it seems to get under your skin even though you didn’t want to be with me exclusively. You wanted to pretend for other people remember?”

          “Don’t throw that in my face again; is that always gonna be your response when the conversations between us turn to you and your wife. We said we were going to talk about us that day at the gym. I’ve been trying and every time it’s come up since then, you retreat. Who’s being the coward now? Maybe I did get skittish back then but what about now? One second.”

“Is that Karen calling you again? You just talked to her a few minutes ago. Damn that girl; can you get a moments peace?” David protests right before Brad picks up her call.

*******

“So you’re breaking up with me because I didn’t want to see you on the day you asked, after you refused to go out with me when I suggested we spend some time together. Aren’t you the selfish one,” Andi fumes.

“Huh?” She got all that from me saying I’d prefer to just be friends and no longer date Shaun considers.

“Or are you seeing someone else now? Is that it?”

“No Andi, I’m not seeing anyone; I just think we’ll fair better as friends that don’t date.”

“Easy for you to say; you don’t even care about how I might feel about it.”

“I do care how you feel, but that’s not going to change my mind. Listen sweetheart, I think you’re a nice girl and I hope nothing I’ve said has hurt you.”

“Whatever Shaun; you could’ve at least done this in person. So crass of you to do it over the phone; It’s cool though. I actually agree with you. There were a lot of things about you I didn’t like.”

“Well then I’m glad we’re in agreement.”

“Screw you!” Andi exclaims before ending the call.

Wasn’t that unnecessarily dramatic? Then again, what should I have expected? That’s the joy of Andi Shaun ponders then dials Toni’s number.

*******

Stay tuned and find out what happens next, Monday, June 21^st 2010. Make you day beautiful!!

And The Story Goes ... Episode VIII

          A summation of thoughts over the last few days produces feelings of self preservation and self annihilation for Karen. Prayers, sighs and cries led her to calling off work a few days ago. Now out of breath from Plyometrics, a workout regimen from the p90x® series, Karen drags herself to the linen closet to get ready for her shower. Beads of sweat peruse her cocoa butter body; sliding past her back to her firmly shaped hamstrings and then to her calves; sculpted like a runner, they tend to make themselves known whether she’s still or ambulatory.  With her head leaned against her right arm, that’s propped against the linen closet door, Karen grins thinking about Cyan.

          Cyan, a beautiful soul, almost angelic, given the way she assisted Karen with her depression the other day; Karen was wallowing in a pool of self hate and conflict trying to come to terms with her yearning for women. She had reached out to an ex-gay counselor after sleeping with her boyfriend only to hear she was wrong for taking that route. Deciding to get away from the walls that seemed to be closing in, Karen goes to the Vietnam Veterans Memorial. While walking along the wall, she considers the many sacrifices each person named must have given and begins berating herself for having feelings of despair over being gay. What do I have to be sad about? I’m not in the trenches waiting to be fired upon or bombed. Why can’t I get passed this? Why am I making this thing with women such a big deal? As Karen contemplates an answer to her own question, Cyan walks up and asks, “Is someone you know listed on the wall?”

          “No, not at all, do you know someone here?” Karen asks snapped from her trance and now focused on the stranger’s possible loss.

          “I don’t believe I do, but some of my family members served in Vietnam. My granddad got a purple heart,” Cyan proudly declares.

          “I’m sorry your grandfather was hurt,” Karen atones eyes welling.

          “Thanks, but he’s okay and there were so many that didn’t make it back; I mean look at this wall, so many lost. Hey listen, I know you said you’re not here for that, but you look so … what I mean is, are you okay honey? What’s your name dear? I’m Cyan.”

          “You’re so sweet to ask, but I don’t have an answer. Well accept for my name that is, I do have that for you; my name is Karen. As for everything else, I don’t know what I am right now. I’m a whole lot of something. Well actually, I’m a whole lot of nothing.”

          “No doll, that just can’t be; I don’t even know you but I know that. We’re all God’s children and He doesn’t make any mistakes. Are you telling me you’re the one exception?” Cyan buzzes, consoling Karen handing her tissue before grasping her hand.

          “Thanks for the tissue. I know God is infallible but you don’t understand. I’m all messed up. It’s not His fault, it’s mine. I’m the one who’s made a mess of my life. Let me ask you something Cyan, have you ever heard of the point of no return? That’s where I am, the point of no return.”

          “Is that so? Please tell me where that is; I’ve been dying to know. Is it somewhere near ‘I’ve arrived’? You know where I’m talking about right? That place everyone tries to get to,” Cyan enunciates. Karen begins guffawing; holding her stomach and bending over to catch her breath. Now drawing the attention of others visiting the wall, they decide to walk. Cyan grasps Karen’s hand and starts swinging their arms forward like school girls. Looking over to Karen she admits, “Now that’s what I like to see; a pretty girl with a pretty face—no tears allowed. Are you ready to tell me why you were the one mistake in all of God’s creation?”

          “It probably seems like I’m having a pity party, but I’m not; well maybe I am—shoot I don’t know. I’m not sure I have the words to help you understand,” Karen emits and releases the catalyst to her dolor; her desire for women even though she’s in a relationship with Brad, the abomination for being gay sermon preached from the pulpit of her cousin Sophia and the perturbation parade marching through her head. Karen finds it amazing how willingly she divulges her private hell. I guess it’s true what they say—sometimes it’s easier to tell a stranger. Listening in earnest, Cyan proclaims, “don’t allow yourself to be prisoner based on the beliefs of others. It sounds to me like you were fine with being gay until your cousin took you to a revival of some sorts, and they told you how ashamed you were supposed to be about being you.”

          “Thank you for trying to be supportive but it’s not that simple Cyan,” Karen resolves.

          “The heck it ain’t. Let me tell you what I know sugar. I know God loves me, you and every other living thing out here. It wasn’t that long ago that I thought, no correction, I knew I had to be a mistake. Can you imagine being born with male genitalia but knowing you’re a female? I bet you can’t and don’t want to,” Cyan concludes and timelines her discovery; chronicling the many battles with her parents, associates, so-called friends and most viciously, the fight within herself. She expounds, at length on the day she came to terms. Ready to terminate her life, she pleaded with God to help her be a man; to make her a son her parents could be proud of; a brother her siblings didn’t have to defend to others and on that day, after petitioning and beseeching, Cyan received her answer. Trying to tell what happened next, she clutches Karen’s hand tightly and whispers, “do you know that the phone rang? It scared me right out of my despair; there I was begging God and asking for His help and the phone rings. I picked up and said hello as if God was calling me direct from heaven, of course it wasn’t, but you’d never guess who was on the line.”

          “Who; one of His disciples?” Karen interrogates without equivocation and quite seriously.

          “In a matter of speaking, yes it was a disciple; his name was Joshua—go figure. I’ll never forget what he said after I said hello. He replied, yes um hi this is Joshua from Love You, I’m trying to reach Darryl. Cyan goes on to explain that Darryl was her birth name and Love You is a group who touted as its mission ‘To help you love you no matter who you are.’ She had been told about the group, but never called. The fact that she was receiving an unsolicited call during her request for God to miraculously heal her perceived affliction; it was the answer she needed. Moving forward, she faithfully attended meetings, eventually accepting who that she was not cursed or a mistake. She changed her name to Cyan because it means blue in Greek and blue is representative of peace; the peace she tries to maintain. Speaking with glee, she shares how she finally found love. “Once I loved me, I became open to others loving me. Actually, I have too much love going on right now.”

          “Is there such a thing?” Karen asserts unclear of what Cyan means by saying too much love.

          “It is when you have a girlfriend and a lover.”

          “You have woman? I don’t get it; if you like women then why didn’t you just stay a guy”

          “I could ask you the same thing; you have a boyfriend, why not just be heterosexual?” Cyan retorts one eyebrow up, waiting for Karen’s epiphany.

          “I see your point, I’m sorry that was tacky,” Karen acknowledges.

          “All is forgiven sweetie, but the truth is I do have a situation. My girlfriend and I were having issues and we took a break.” Cyan clarifies holding up the quotation marks. “That’s when I met Kennedy. She walked in the café and I could not stop looking over at her. I stopped focusing on my coffee, my book and the phone call I was on. She sat near my table and we ended up talking. Next thing I knew, I was trying to stop myself from giving her every way imaginable to meet me. My cell, home, address, email, you feel me? Kennedy and I went out a few times, but of course Samantha and I got back together.”

          “Oh I see; Kennedy is the lover and Samantha is your girlfriend?”

          “Affirmative.”

          “Well, I can see why you are in high demand Cyan. You are some kind of special.”

Karen chuckles softly standing there at the linen closet remembering just how much she laughed that day with Cyan; Cyan made it all seem so easy. I wish it were that easy. I haven’t received my revelation just yet. Cyan wasn’t in a relationship lying when she faced her demons. I’ve got a man who I want to want but don’t. He loves me, he wants me and I still can’t get it together. I’m sitting here wanting something I could never get from him and there’s nothing he can do to change that. I must be the most self consumed bitch on the planet. Me, me, me that’s all I seem to think about these days. Let me hurry up and take a shower so I can go check on Jennifer. She’s laid up in the bed trying to heal and all I can think about is my shortcomings. Snap out of it Karen; can’t you be there for someone else right now? Get over yourself already; gosh.

*******

          Having dismissed her class early, Shaun gets ready to stop by Toni’s play rehearsal. Toni has been working so hard running lines trying to get her part just right. I’m so proud of her. She’s gonna be shocked to see me there. I should stop by RaeKi’s and pick up her favorite dish. Who in the world is calling? Everyone knows I still have my students now. Looking down at her phone, Shaun sees Andi’s name highlighted. I might as well talk to her now, since I’ll probably  be hanging with Toni later.

          “Hey babe, how’s it going?”

          “I’m not sure, why haven’t you called me back? I know you know that I’ve been calling you,” Andi insists.

          “I’ve had students all day; you know that Andi. The only reason I could pick up now is because I let them go early. Relax babe; tell me about your day.”

          “You mean to tell me you couldn’t call me at least once today? How likely is that? And why did you let the kids go early today, did you give them a test?” Andi gripes. “You know what; you should come pick me up. Let’s go get grab something to eat.”

          “How about I take you to breakfast in the morning?” Shaun offers.

          “What about tonight? I don’t wanna go to breakfast.”

          “Tonight’s not good, tomorrow would be better. I’ll have more time then.” Shaun announces.

          “Why can’t we go out tonight?”

          “I already told you babe, c’mon let me pick you up in the morning and we’ll chill together.”

          “No, I can’t.” Andi argues.

          “No problem, I understand. I need to call you back—one of my students just came in.”

          “Yea I’ll bet; I’ll talk to you later; bye.”

          “Bye babe,” Shaun utters and hits the ear piece to disconnect. Happy to be off the call, she considers the best way to end any relationship type dealings with Andi. I need to end whatever this is with her, sooner rather than later.

          Miles away as the call between Shaun and Andi ends, Andi pouts over being turned down for dinner. What is she up to? She let her students go early but she can’t spend time with me. She could’ve found some time during the day to return my call. She’s so full of crap. She never has time for me. That’s cool though, it’s not like she’s the only person I can hang out with. I wonder if Michelle is gonna be with Mike tonight?  

*******

Stay tuned and find out what happens next, Monday June 7^th 2010. Have a great Memorial Day and remember our fallen heroes!